Never Too Late

So I am coming to the end of my second day on the program, and so far so good. The first couple of days have never been hard, its always been after a couple of weeks that I have the problem with. So that is why Im preparing now for them.

I was discussing with my husband about the issues that I have had before and what I realized is that every time I hit my 10%, that is usually when I hit the fence and give up. I don't know why I do, but that has been the pattern. So I am doing all I can to get ready for the up coming obstacle.  Well, I know that I have some time, but its never too early to pack your bags for vacation right?

I have been doing my dailies at my alter and I found an app on my phone that is Hypnosis for weight loss. Ok, I know what you are thinking, you cant be hypnotized to lose weight, but you can connect to your subconscious and change the way you think. Ive already tired it twice...now I don't know if its made a big difference just yet, but I really did enjoy the meditation that I experienced because of it. So Im going to keep doing it.

Another change that I have made was that I am starting to eat my meals at the table. Something that my husband I never do. Ive heard so many times how that is the best thing to do. I never understood why until we analyzed it. When we have dinner out, we take our time, talk in between bites, and really pay attention to our meal. He reminded me that when we eat out, I never finish all my food. So, last night when we sat down for dinner, I took my time, ate slow, and felt full before my plate was empty. I guess there is something to it.

So, now I need to come up with a song for my current emotions....hmm? The song that has been on my mind for the last two days is "Too Late" from Three Days Grace. They put on a really good show and even though their lead singer decided to leave, I still love them.

"This world will never be what I expected
and if I don't belong, who would of guess it
I will not leave alone, anything that I own 
 to make you feel like its not too late, its never too late

even if I say, it'll be all right
still I hear you say, you want to end your life
now again we try, to just stay alive
maybe we'll turn it all around cuz its
not too late, its never too late"

Somewhere I belong

This isn't my first time in the WW program. The very first time that I joined, it took me only 6 months to lose 28 lbs and 47 inches. So why am I starting over again? I have been struggling with my weight loss for years and I have learned a few things in my quest, 1: Im overweight 2: Im unhappy about it 3: Im lazy 4: I love food and 5: losing weight is just so **** hard. I have to keep reminding myself how hard it is. Because a time will come when I hit a fence, yes I can see the other side, but Im gonna have to climb it to get there.

 But how bad do I want it?  Apparently not enough because every time I came to that fence, it was too hard to climb . So I turned around to go home and  stopped at the drive thru on the way. Well I don't to be that person anymore. I want to be thinner, healthier, hotter and most important of all, HAPPY. 

So here I go again, I think this is my 5th time rejoining...lol. I laugh because I think its absurd. Absurd because I was so close so many other times and now I am the heaviest I've ever been. But now its time to let go of the past and look ahead to the future. And when I feel like I wanna let go I have to remember.....

"I want to heal, I want to feel
what I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain Ive held so long
(erase all the pain til its gone)
I want to heal, I want to feel
Like Im close to something real
I want to find something I wanted all along
Somewhere I belong"

Thank you Linkin Park...I knew that you'd have the song I needed to get started.