I never did like the taste of foot in my mouth

So I have this cousin named Joanna. She is about 10 years younger than me, but we have always been best friends. When I was going through my divorce, she would spend the weekends at my apartment while I went out and just kept me company.

She met this guy online named Seamus. He is from Ireland and a really really nice guy. Everyone thought that Joanna was crazy to be seeing someone from so far away, but they hadnt actually met yet. Until one day, he came all the way out here. He stayed for 3 weeks. He went home and then came back4 months later. But it was a surprise. Joanna didnt know that he was coming back but he came so that she should could go to her high school prom since she said that she wouldnt go unless it was with him. He stayed long enough to watch her graduate from high school and then a week after graduation, they got married. He has been here ever since.

Well since Seamus is from Ireland, he got permission to come out here but he stayed too long and his visa expired. So of course, he hasnt been able to get any work. And of course, being from Ireland, Seamus is a drinker. In the last 5 years, I havent seen anyone drink as much as he does. But when it comes to work, I never saw him turn down a "cash" paying job. He really is a good guy.

Well yesterday, my cousin Joanna calls me crying. "Claudia, I left him, I just cant take it anymore." she said that Seamus is still drinking and that they have not lived together in the last 4 months. "Holy fuck, I'm so sorry Joanna" Then she preceeds to tell me how her family is not backing her up and calling her an adulture. Now why would they say such a thing? she said that she has a friend, but thats all it is, just friends. Well, I have no reason not to believe her.

Now you have to understand that her family is the family that I have written about in other posts that they are talking shit about me. The crazy christian family that say that I worship the devil. So then Joanna calls me back today crying her eyes out. Saying how hard this decision was and again her family is giving her a hard time, but this time tells me that she is seeing this guy and has cheated on Seamus but only because he has not been with her in 4 months. How long was she supposed to wait? Again continues to tell me that her family is turning there back on her, especially her sister Podi, and that she is not allowed to be in the house alone, and the she is a disgrace to the family, and natually I believe her.

So after I get off the phone with her, I so fucking pissed. How can these "good christians" turn away from their own blood. Even is she did cheat on her husband, she is still family. That is between Joanna and Seamus. My problelm with her sister is that she is always acting holier than thou and she is the first to point her finger and judge. When she herself started going out with her boyfriend when she was 21, he was 16...hmmm???

So I send Podi a text that says that I hope that she is never in her sisters shoes and I hope that she doesn't have a sister that turns her back on her like you did to Joanna. Well of course she tells me off and then I come back with more hateful words.

Her brother then calls me to tell me that I dont know the whole story. So then he starts to tell me that they have tried to talk to Joanna and she turn her back on them. That of course they don't like it that she is going out with this other guy, but that they don't think that she is in her right mind to be with someone else. That she needs to be with family and she needs to go to church. I'm listening to him, I even tried to argue her side, but what he said made sense.

I asked him why they wouldnt let her be in the house alone, he said that she was stealing things. It just didn't sound like the Joanna I knew, but at that point I knew, that I shouldn't have gone off on Podi like that. I tried to send her an apology but I really didn't mean it. It was mostly because I meant what I said, but I should have kept it to myself.

So I'm thinkin and thinkin, and I just cant let it go. So I send Joanna a text. "cuz you need to tell me the truth....are you still drinking and smoking weed?" and few minutes later "yes" "Ok, so answer another question and remember I love you and I'm here for you, but are you telling me the truth about your family? are they really turning their back on you like you say they are?" Nothing. I send it again. then I get, "well not exactly, They are trying to get me to go to church with them." "so then you were not telling me the whole truth?" "well I tried but you never gave me the chance" "bullshit Joanna, you were never gonna tell me the truth, and I just told off your sister for something that she didn't do"

I told her that it was bullshit what she did, and that as long as she is drinking and smoking, she was not allowed to come to my house either. I told her that if she is drinking and blazing, how is she any different that him. I haven't heard from her since.

I cant believe that she fooled me. I cant believe that I believed her. I text Podi and apologized for reals and this time, I was in tears. I told her how I was sorry that I said hateful things, to please forgive me. She did, but I still feel like shit.

When Joe was driving home from the prison today, I told him what happened and how stupid I felt. He said that this will pass and to give it a few days and maybe invite her to lunch or coffee. I will but until I get that hug from her, I wont know for sure that she really did forgive me.

At this point, I hope that Seamus is smart enough to just go back home. He hasn't seen his family in 5 years and I know his mom is missing him. She has suffered two minor strokes since he's been gone,but there is nothing for him here. He has no papers, so he cant work and no family so where is he going to stay. It really sucks cuz Seamus is family. But I think that the best thing for everyone is for Seamus to go home. but the running joke in our family is that we are a huge Mexican family and the one illegal is the white guy....LMAO