Monday, January 14, 2013

Never Too Late

So I am coming to the end of my second day on the program, and so far so good. The first couple of days have never been hard, its always been after a couple of weeks that I have the problem with. So that is why Im preparing now for them.

I was discussing with my husband about the issues that I have had before and what I realized is that every time I hit my 10%, that is usually when I hit the fence and give up. I don't know why I do, but that has been the pattern. So I am doing all I can to get ready for the up coming obstacle.  Well, I know that I have some time, but its never too early to pack your bags for vacation right?

I have been doing my dailies at my alter and I found an app on my phone that is Hypnosis for weight loss. Ok, I know what you are thinking, you cant be hypnotized to lose weight, but you can connect to your subconscious and change the way you think. Ive already tired it twice...now I don't know if its made a big difference just yet, but I really did enjoy the meditation that I experienced because of it. So Im going to keep doing it.

Another change that I have made was that I am starting to eat my meals at the table. Something that my husband I never do. Ive heard so many times how that is the best thing to do. I never understood why until we analyzed it. When we have dinner out, we take our time, talk in between bites, and really pay attention to our meal. He reminded me that when we eat out, I never finish all my food. So, last night when we sat down for dinner, I took my time, ate slow, and felt full before my plate was empty. I guess there is something to it.

So, now I need to come up with a song for my current emotions....hmm? The song that has been on my mind for the last two days is "Too Late" from Three Days Grace. They put on a really good show and even though their lead singer decided to leave, I still love them.

"This world will never be what I expected
and if I don't belong, who would of guess it
I will not leave alone, anything that I own 

 to make you feel like its not too late, its never too late

even if I say, it'll be all right
still I hear you say, you want to end your life
now again we try, to just stay alive
maybe we'll turn it all around cuz its
not too late, its never too late"

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Somewhere I belong

This isn't my first time in the WW program. The very first time that I joined, it took me only 6 months to lose 28 lbs and 47 inches. So why am I starting over again? I have been struggling with my weight loss for years and I have learned a few things in my quest, 1: Im overweight 2: Im unhappy about it 3: Im lazy 4: I love food and 5: losing weight is just so **** hard. I have to keep reminding myself how hard it is. Because a time will come when I hit a fence, yes I can see the other side, but Im gonna have to climb it to get there.

 But how bad do I want it?  Apparently not enough because every time I came to that fence, it was too hard to climb . So I turned around to go home and  stopped at the drive thru on the way. Well I don't to be that person anymore. I want to be thinner, healthier, hotter and most important of all, HAPPY. 

So here I go again, I think this is my 5th time rejoining...lol. I laugh because I think its absurd. Absurd because I was so close so many other times and now I am the heaviest I've ever been. But now its time to let go of the past and look ahead to the future. And when I feel like I wanna let go I have to remember.....

"I want to heal, I want to feel
what I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain Ive held so long
(erase all the pain til its gone)
I want to heal, I want to feel
Like Im close to something real
I want to find something I wanted all along
Somewhere I belong"

Thank you Linkin Park...I knew that you'd have the song I needed to get started.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Puzzle Pieces



I remember the horrible feeling that came over me when the counselor told me that i was 10 units short and that I was not going to graduate from high school. I had already sent out the invitations and now I had to call everyone and tell them never mind. Not only that, I had just found out that I pregnant, but that secret didn't come out until much later.

I had to work at a day center for 6 weeks to earn the units, so eventually I did receive my diploma but I didn't get to wear the cap and gown or walk with the rest of my class. Before the year had even started, I was too busy fucking around that I never got to take my senior pictures, so my pic wasnt even in the year book. For the last 17 years I felt like I had been working on a gigantic puzzle and I had an important piece missing and it was no where to be found.

5 years ago, I met my wonderful husband and we started running our care home. I was always talking about returning to school and becoming a paralegal. Law has always been a passion for me, but when I wanted to return to school when I was married to my first husband, he didn't want me to become a paralegal, he said that school would take me too long. He convinced me to get my child development certificate because it would only take me two semesters as apposed to two years. I would find work faster. I personally think that he didn't want me to succeed, but oh well im not with him anymore.

So one day Joe and I were talking and he told me that now is the time for one of us to return to school and that if I wasn't going to, he was. The next morning, I let him sleep in and while he was out, I snuck off and registered at the local city college, COS.

My first intention was just go in and in 3 short semesters,I would get my paralegal certificate, but after talking to my counselor I found out that I only needed about 4 classes to finish my AS degree, so I thought, what the hell I might as well stay and finish the whole thing.

It wasn't too bad at first so I decided to go full time...yeah right, I did that for two semesters and became overwhelmed. I felt like dropping out, but I didn't, I rested over the summer and went back part time. Everything was going great until I had to take a class with Dr.Faller again. I never had a problem with her, I thought she was amazing woman and she liked me. I got A's in my first two classes with her and everyone said that I must be bad a ass because it is hard to get an A in her class. Some people thought she was a bitch, I just thought she was a hard ass. But one day in class, we were assigned an assignment to find a application at the court house. My friend Olga couldnt find the website and it was the night before it was due. So sent her my copy of the application. I had erased all of my information but I forgot that there was a second page. So when Olga turned in the assignment for herself, she didnt change any of the info on the second page and submitted it with my info on it. I submitted my assignment early because I wasn't going to be in class, a few days later, I received an email from Faller asking me to come to her office. When I got there, I saw the side of Faller that everyone had been talking about. She said that I cheated and let Olga copy from my assignment and that I was lucky that she wasn't going to turn me in for cheating and have me kicked out of the program. I didn't know what to say, all I could say was that I was only doing what she said for to do and help our fellow paralegals because finding information online can be very hard and we need to stick together. She said that I needed to stop making excuses and take responsibility for my mistake, because at a law office, I would have been fired to sharing personal information. Now come on, Im not stupid, I would never share personal information from a law office, but she wouldnt let it go until I said that I was sorry and promised that I would never do it again. I felt like I was five years old again.

Faller said before I left her office that once I walked out that door, as long as I didnt cheat again, that I never had to worry about hearing about it again. That everyone is entitled to make mistakes and the slate is cleared from this point on. I still walked into the class room each week with my tail between my legs, because I made Faller mad. But what Faller said was bullshit, every time I was given an assignment or had to turn one in, she would say to me, did you do this on your own or make sure you do this on your own. What happened to once I walk out that door, all was forgotten? By the end of the semester, I was ready to quit. I told Joe that I didnt want to finish school anymore. That I just wanted to run the facility. But Joe didn't let me quit and deep down, I really didn't want to quit either.

As part of my paralegal requirements I had to do 120 hours of internship. After what happened with Faller, I did not want to do those hours. I really didn't want to be yelled at by anymore attorneys. So I wanted to quit the program and just get my AS degree but I only needed 2 more classes, so Joe kicked my ass to keep going and I did. I ended up doing all 120 hours at the Family Law Facilitators helping people fill out there child custody, visitations, and even divorce papers. I had a blast, I made great friends and I knew that I was in the right place, doing what I was born to do.

So now here I am in my final semester. I had to take my English class again because I didn't do so well the first time. So when it came time to mail out my graduation announcements, I was so scared that I was going to have a repeat of last time, having to call and say nevermind, im not graduating. I even sent my English teacher an email asking him if I safe and was going to pass the class this second time around, he reply's with "Well, the only thing that is certain is uncertainty. I would say behave as if this is not true and the odds of it being true improve." WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN? WHY COULDN'T HE JUST GIVE ME A YES OR NO ANSWER...LOL. Later on, I explained to him why I was so scared and he apologized for his crazy answer.

So now Im standing here in my cap and gown, waiting for the gates to open so that I can finally walk with my class and hear them call out my name. I was worried that I was going to cry and mess up my make up but I didn't. Instead I raised my hands with my devils horns and screamed as I walked to my seat. Then I screamed as I walked to the guy who's hand I was supposed to shake, and then screamed again as I walked back to my seat. The entire time I was sitting through the speeches and the other students having there time, I was texting my family who were sitting in the stands. My daughter telling me how proud she was of me and especially my husband telling me that he too was proud of me, but I also told him that I couldn't have done it without him.

It feels really good now that I'm finished. I can't believe that I am a college graduate, it seems so unreal. I don't think it has really hit me yet, it probably won't until its time to start the next semester and I won't be going back. But that is ok, I had my turn, its now time for my wonderful husband to have his time. Joe has been absolutely amazing through these last three years, taking on most of the responsibility of the facility while I did homework, but now it is my turn to take over the house while Joe works on his homework.

Its now my turn to work on the books and clean the house. And wouldn't you know, just as I move the sofa so I can vacuum, I look down there it is...that dam PUZZLE piece. Its always in the last place you look.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Don't call my mama a bitch

Do you remember when we were young and some kid called your mama a bitch and our response was "Don't call my mama a bitch, only I can call her a bitch." I remember those days, I may not have liked my mom at the time (long story) but there was no way in hell, I was gonna let you call her a bitch. Hells no...lol.

Well the other day, me, my daughter and my son were at the salon getting our hair done. Yes my son too, he has long curly hair and he gets a relaxer so that it will straighten out...Anyways, my hair dresser Kelly starts to tell us this story about her youngest son, Jabari, getting into trouble at school because he called another little boy a Faggot. At first, I thought that she was going to say something about how she could not believe her son would ever say something like that, but as it turns out, she was upset because her son's white teacher gave him detention. I just sat there in amazement as she went on to say that the little boy who Jabari called the name to, has been going around trying to kiss the little boys in his class and the one time he tried to kiss Kelly's son, he called the boy that name.

Ok I understand that here is Kelly's son freaking out that this little boy is trying to kiss him and yes by calling him that name was a reaction to his being uncomfortable but what I don't understand is why Kelly was mad at the teacher. One of Kelly's clients who happened to be there the night that I was there, is also a teacher at the same school. She proceeds to tell Kelly that the teacher who punished Jabari is gay.

My first question is, what does him being gay have anything to do with it? Well yeah, to be gay and then to hear Jabari use that word, must have been a shock, but most schools now a days have a no tolerance rule and they are cracking down on everyone. But what is the most upsetting to me is what Kelly said next....She said, "Well now I understand why he gave Jabari detention... he's a faggot too. Not that I have anything against gays, but why should he be mad if Jabari is only calling him what he is?"

I had to stop myself from going off. You see, Kelly is Black and my first instinct was to say was "oh so if its ok for Jabari to call the boy a faggot because that is what he is, then you won't be mad if that same boy called Jabari a nigger because that is what he is?" I didn't say that, I really really wanted to, but it probably wouldn't have gone over very well and Tavo and I still had the relaxer in our hair.

I honestly believe that if the other little boy had called Jabari that ugly word and all he got was a detention, Kelly would have been all over that school, pissed cuz that was all that he received as punishment. I think that it is bullshit that she honestly believes that it is ok for her son to say such things, but everyone else would be in the wrong. What is this world coming to?

I remember when I was in junior high and during P.E., this one black girl just kept fucking with me. To this day, I don't even know why she was but no matter what I said to her, she wouldn't stop. So I finally yell out "leave me alone you fuckin nigger!" and it worked, she stopped messing with me. Once we went inside to change, she told all her friends, which were also my friends. They all came up to me and asked if I said that. I said yes and told them how I didn't mean it towards everyone, only to her because she wouldn't leave me alone and they believed me, but for that quick second that I thought that they were going to kick the shit out of me, I swore never to say ugly things like that.

I try to teach my kids to love and respect everyone. I know that it is hard to do that sometimes, but if we expect the world to be accepting of others, we need to start at home. I have to say that I am very disappointed in Kelly and I'm having a hard time trying to decide whether or not to go back to her salon. I feel that if I continue to go to her for services, I am accepting her behavior. But is really hard to find someone who does a good a job as she does. what to do...what to do??


Sunday, August 23, 2009

Jefe....My sweet little guy


I remember that it was my mom's birthday and the kids and I went to her house for pizza and a movie. I noticed that my uncles dog, who my mom often watched when they were out of town, was looking a little on the chunky side. I asked my mom if she was pregnant and my mom said yes. I sat up with joy, Taco is pregnant. But not only is she pregnant, she is by moms wienie dog and Taco is a chihuahua. That means she about to have a couple of chaweiners.

For those of you that don't know, we already have one. his name is Chancho and he is one of the best dogs I have ever owned. So when my mom said Taco was pregnant, I called dibs on one of her puppies. I waited, one month goes by and I get the call that Taco had her puppies. 2 boys and 1 girl. I wanted a boy. I continue to wait. Another month goes by and my mom said that the puppies are just about ready to come home. So on June 12th, I call my aunt and ask her if the puppies were ripe enough to bring one home, she said yes.....I'll be right there.

I get to her house and I see the puppies, and they were all so dam cute. I wanted all of them but I knew that if I did bring them all home, Joe wouldn't have been to happy. So which one do I choose? And there he is, trying to hide in corner of the box that they had him. The cutest little guy I have ever seen, not to mention he's the smallest of them all. As I pick him up and start to walk away from the box, Taco is following me. when I stop to talk to my aunt, Taco is trying to jump up and find out where the fuck I was going with her baby. I looked down at her and petted her pretty little face and told her thank you for giving me this sweet little baby and that I promised that I would take good care of him. We named him Jefe.

A couple of days later, my mom calls to tell me that she has the other male puppy and that her neighbor was supposed to take him but he isn't home. She want to know if I could keep him at my house for a day or two until the neighbor is ready for him. Ok mom, but just for the day. Jefe and this other puppy were so happy to see each other. They started playing together and Jefe seemed to be happier. The next day, my mom calls again. The neighbor flaked on her and so did this other lady that said that she was interested. So what do we do, Joe is saying that we cant keep this puppy, but the kids are already becoming attached and Jefe was going to be so heart broken if we made his brother leave. "please Joe, can I please live here? I promise to be good and not poop all over the house? look how cute my face is?" Ok, he can stay and after several discussions on what to name him, we finally ended up with Benny....after George Lopez's mom the show. "You know what...I need a smoke and a beer!"


It has been a fun two months so far. watching the puppies play with each other, along with the big dogs. Chewing on everything they can get the teeth on including my socks, shoes and even a bra. We would be sitting in the tv room and the next thing I know, I see a tiny puppy dragging my shoe, twice his size to his bed to chew on. That shit was funny.

On Thursday this past week, Joe and I went grocery shopping. Joe grabbed a couple of chew toys for the dogs. Its funny, we will give all the dogs a toy and for some reason, they all fight over one....lol. Friday night, Joe noticed that Jefe was acting kinda funny, like he had no energy. Saturday morning, I had to wake up at 4:30 am to take one of our clients to work. I opened the sliding door for the dogs to go out to pee and Jefe just got up and started throwing up. He came back in and laid down on his bed. I took Steven to work and came home. Jefe was still in his bed but didn't look too good. I went online and just googled "my puppy is throwing up" and all this stuff about rawhide came up. I remember the chew toys we bought for the dogs and looked at the package. It said made from meat and rawhide....oh shit. It was the only thing different in their diet that they have had.

Every thing about rawhide online was 99% negative. It said that if a puppy eats too much, it can expand in the system and cause a blockage. FUCK!!!! So that entire day, I gave Jefe gatoraide. He was still throwing up. By the afternoon, he was walking around and even went outside to pee and would even walk over and drink water from their bowl. I thought, that is a good sign. By late in the evening, he was trying to poop. It was really runny and stinky but that means that things are moving around in there right? So its time to go to bed, my head is pounding and I cant sleep. All I wanted to do is hold him. Just hold my baby in my arms and tell him that everything is going to be ok. But I didn't, I just wrapped him in a towl and laid him in his bed in my room. I could see his big brown eyes looking at me as if to say "mommy it hurts" I know it does baby, just rest you'll feel better in the morning.

That was the first night that Benny slept in our bed in a long time. I didn't want him jumping all over Jefe, he didn't realize that Jefe was sick. About 4am, Benny woke up. I needed to take him out. When I looked over at the puppy bed, Jefe wasn't there. I assumed that he was under my bed, since it was one of his favorite places to be. I didn't bother him. But when I got back inside, I could hear a tiny moan. I got Joe's flash light and looked under my bed. There was Jefe, laying on his stomach but with face turned away from me. But every time he would take a breath, he would let out a tiny moan. I touch his paw....nothing. I touch his back...nothing. So I say his name and shake him....nothing. No tears yet....Joe? Joe wake up...Jefe is under the bed and he's not moving and I think he is about dead, can you check him? Joe does and pulls him out from under the bed. He tells me not to look. So I close my eyes. I don't know why he told me to, and even at this moment, I still don't know why. I asked him....was I right? Yes. Joe wrapped him up in the towel and took him outside.


The door closed and I layed down. I started thinking, Jefe was still breathing....so did Joe help him to pass or did he pass on his own? And also to this moment, I still dont know. All day, I wanted to ask, but how do you ask a question like that, but more importantly, do I really want to know? Joe, I know that you are reading this and you know what is best for me. Joe came back in and told me that the ground outside is too dry to dig a hole so he is taking him to the empty lot up the street. It was still dark outside and the kids were still asleep.

When Joe came home, I put my face in his shoulders and finally started to cry. It was at that moment that I realized, I mean really realized that my puppy was gone. My baby was gone. I made a conscience choice years ago to stop having kids and had had my tubes tied. I don't regret my decision but I still wanted in some way to have my babies. And when I no longer could see those big brown eyes, I then had a glimpse of what it felt like to lose a child. Now I know that losing my puppy can no way compare to loosing a child, but it doesn't make the hurt inside me hurt any less. I just laid in bed crying. I think I fell asleep from exhaustion but who knows. All I know is that when I woke up, tears were still falling. I closed them again so they would stop but it didn't help. I had my hand on my face still in shock and that was when it happened, Benny. Benny started licking my face. I opened my eyes and started to laugh, that little fucker....he reminded me that I still have my other babies.

It fuckin sucked having to tell the kids. And seeing them cry didn't make it easy for me. and anyone that truly knows me, knows that you cant cry around me and me not cry with them. But my kids are resilient, I took it harder than they did.

I am still not completely over it, I have been crying all day. My head is still pounding and my heart still hurts. But I know that it will get better soon. Death and rebirth....where ever Jefe is buried...I hope that some kind of life starts to grow there so that everyone is reminded that life goes on and how much joy that little guy gave in his short little life. I'll miss you Jefe. Veritas Pro Re Natura.

Monday, April 13, 2009

These pretzels are making me thirsty


You know, I still dont like the taste of shoes, but at least I know that I wasn't exactly wrong when I told my cousin off. As you read in my post "I never did like the taste of shoe in my mouth" I went off on my cousin for the way she was treating her sister. I went off on her and it turns out that the cousin I was defending was lying to me about everything that was going on. I felt so bad, that I cried, I love my family and I would never do anything to hurt them. But having said that, I'm finding out now, that maybe the things I said to her, I wasn't so far off.

Last week I took my Tia (aunt in Spanish) to have her divorce papers filled out and after we were done, she tells me that she needs to ask me something....I knew exactly what it was. She goes on to tell me that her youngest brother, who we all call Huero (which means white boy in Spanish) had been telling her that he had been to my house and he saw a "Wicca" book on my table and that I worship the devil and practice black magic. Hmm....what to do? What to say? I was pissed, but not for him saying that I practice black magic, but the fact that he is saying he has been in my house. There is no way in hell I would let that piece of shit in my house. Now I know that you are thinking, how can I call my uncle a piece of shit? Well he steals from my grandfather and he gave up his rights to his daughter so that he doesn't have to pay child support and he calls himself a man of God and wants to become a Pastor. He's a piece of shit.

So my Tia starts to ask if it's true about the "black magic?" I tell her, yes and no. That I practice magic but there is nothing black about it. Although, now I'm thinking about what I want to do to Huero. I was very careful on what I said to my Tia, I don't want to freak her out. And she didn't. But I had to tell her that he has never been in my house and that he is lying and if I found out that he was actually in my house when I wasn't home, I will call the cops on his sorry ass. She just looked at me and said nothing. But before I took her home, she was upset that he was lying about me.

So Ive been thinking, where could he have gotten the idea. Because I don't talk about my faith with my family. Obviously, they're a bunch of psycho ass christians....YES the scary kind. I believe that everyone needs some kind of faith in there life and those that don't have it have issues, but this part of the family don't need God, they need fuckin medication. Well the only thing that I can think of is about two semesters ago, I took an English class and half the time that I was there, I was hella bord, so I used to sit and doddle the HIM symbol (heartagram) all over my book and the next semester I learn that another Tia (the mom of the one I told off) is taking that same class and wanted to use my book. So I gave it took her. When I got the book back, all of my heartagrams were made into crosses.....lol.

So yesterday was Easter and I took my kids to my grandpa's house. I didn't want to go because I cant stand my family right now. Either they are talking shit about me or they are hating on Joe. Joe hasn't been to a family function in almost two years. Last time he was there, everyone except for my mom, my Tia, my brother and a few cousins, everyone ignored him and treated him like shit. Joe said that he wasn't going back and I don't blame him. I wish that I didn't have to go either. But my grandfather is 79 yrs old and I want to spend as much time with him as I can.

I wasn't looking forward to the drama and I was worried that if Huero and all the other fucked up in the head christians were there, that I might go off. I get there and so far....nothing. The family that was there were actually happy to see me...well almost all of them. So for those of you that don't know me personally, you know that I am always in black, and when I'm not its usually....fuck that you know that I'm never in anything else...lol. So I'm making the rounds giving kisses to all the Tia's and then I get to Tio Joe, biggest asshole of them all (this is a whole other blog) but I go to give him a kiss and before I do he says, "why are you always dressed like your depressed?" and I put my hand to my head and say "cuz my life is so depressing, OH!!" and just walked away as all my cousins laughed, went inside said hi to my grandpa went back outside to spend time with my family. He didn't talk to me the rest of the time nor did he talk to my daughter either.
The pyscho christians never showed, they feel that it is more important to be with their church family than their aging grandfather. Hey that was good for me...no complaints here

It ended up being a great afternoon. That is the first time in I don't know how long that I actually enjoyed being there when everyone else is there. One of my Tia's, instead of hiding her candies, she just threw them at the kids as they looked for the other candies. It was great to see the kids bent over to pick up an egg and then get clocked in the head with a mini snickers....LMAO!!!

BTW...your probably wondering what the hell my title of this blog has to do with this post. Well it doesnt, when I was thinking of a title, George Castanza popped into my head. Blessings all

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Do Witchdoctors really exsist?

So, I have been with my wonderful husband for almost 4 years now. In these 4 years, I have heard about his experiences in being a pipe carrier and living on the reservation. I have heard stories, from how to survive a snake bite to how crystals work. But except for some different stories about my grandmother and her folk remedies, I have never actually experienced anything.

Today, Joe and I were out early this morning dropping our client off at work. Joe saw this building that he wanted to check out so we stopped. We got out and walked around the building. I was wearing flip flops because I did not think that I would be getting out of the car. As I came around the back, I had to jump over this chin high bush but I didnt quite make it. My foot landed in the leaves and began to sting.

Holy fuck did it sting. I limped back to the car and looked at my foot. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with it but it fuckin hurt. I said to Joe "I don't know what I just stepped in, but that shit hurt." Joe turned to the infamous leaves a said "Oh that stinging Nettle" Well that fuckin explains it. while I sat there rubbing my foot, I remembered something that Joe had told me a long time ago. He said something about a plant that had "stinging powers" I remember that story because there was some thing kool about that plant, it had an antidote.

I said to Joe, "Isn't there like a plant near by that makes the pain go away?" Joe walked away for like 20 seconds and was back. He had a green leaf in his hand. He asked me to lift up my foot and he began to rub that leaf all over. By that time, there were a bunch of bumps all over the top of my foot. It looked like I had been attacked by a bunch of ants. As he continued to rub, my foot was turning green from the leaf, but it was starting to feel better. Then Joe says to me, "if I spit on it, the enzymes from my spit will help it to work faster?" Without thinking I said "Um yeah, if it will help the pain to go away." Joe proceeded to spit on my foot and rub it into the leaf rubbings....lol. I swear not more than a minute had past and I can feel the pain fade. not more than hour past and the pain was gone. The bumps took longer to fade, but as I write this, they are completely gone.

I have a ring that is a triple moon with an Amethyst for the stone. I never take it off. One day, I noticed that under were the stone sits, my finger was beginning to itch. Then it would turn red and become raw, so raw that I would have to take it off for a day or two so that it can heal. I would put it right back on and with in minutes, it started up again. I asked different people if they knew what could be causing it, but no one did. We went to the local lapidary and lady thought it was because I wear the ring on my power hand. That the stone could only absorb so much. So I took it off completely and gave it to Joe so that he could cleanse it for me.

He started at the Full moon, drained it every day during the wanning. At the New moon, he charged it every day of the waxing. By the next full moon, he gave me back the ring. Now you have to understand, its not that I didn't think that any of this stuff was real, but since I had never really experienced it for myself, I didn't know what to expect. I took the ring and put back on the same finger I had it on before. Waiting........waiting.....is it going to eat my finger again?

A few hours went by and nothing. its been 2 months now and the ring is still on my finger. Maybe there is something to this, maybe there is so much more for me to learn. Maybe there is such a person called a Witchdoctor, and I think I am married to him.