Tick Tick Tick goes the Pilot light.....

So last night was my very first blog, and I dont think that it was too bad. But I did mention how I havent come out of the "broom closet" with my family yet. Well I havent come out to a lot of society either.

So today is Samhain. I think my most favorite of all the Sabbats. Also because I am Mexican and I celebrate "Dia de los Muertos" 9 years ago, I lost my grandmother. We called her Mama Juana. We were very close, and for being one of 55 grandchildren, being close to her was very hard. She was an amazing woman. And funny as hell. When she died, she took a big chunk of the family with her. As close as we were when she was still with us, I found that I am closer with her now that she is gone. I was told growing up, that when someone you love, comes to you in a dream, that was their way of communicating with you. Well for years, she didnt visit me, and I was upset. But I use to hear my family talk about their visits from her, and it was always during a time that they had some kind of problem going on. With my family, there is never a dull moment. Well that's when I realized that maybe, she knew that I was ok and I didnt need her right now. Ok I can live with that.

Then I started studing Wicca and I had that christian guilt haunting me. One night.....BAM!!!! There was grandma. She told me that what I "was not a sin" That I was actually doing what God wanted me to do. Use his gifts as he intended. When I was younger, my mom had a god daughter that became very sick. She stopped eating and started to become very pale. Dr's couldnt figure out what was wrong and my mom was really scared. Mama Juana told my mom to bring Jaime to her and my G'ma took Jaime to a Corandero. A healer. This lady took herbs and massaged Jaime with them and prayed over her. By that afternoon, Jaime was eating again and began to get her color back. Now to this day, I dont know why Jaime was sick, but I do know that that lady healed her. Mama Juana reminded me of the things that she had done, and it was no different of what I was trying to learn.

Last year, our kids asked if the could stay home on Samhain because it was a holiday. Well sure, but do you even know why we are celebrating it? Since they couldnt answer, my wonderful husband had the two older girls research and write a report about it, then they had to teach it to the two younger boys. We then went to Mama Juana's grave and decorated it. bought a pumkin and carved it. We had a great day. But the kids had to miss school to do it, so what do we tell the school? I was worried about a fight or being look down on, so I just told the school that my kids were sick.

But today, I had to pick up my son from school because he was at his dads last night and we didnt want to tell him that his son was staying home from school to celebrate a Pagan holiday. So I get there just before the bell rings and I find him. I go to the office to let them know that my two kids will stay home from school and when the lady asked why, I just blurted out, "Its a holiday for my family and we are going to stay home to celebrate." I stood there in shock, I cant believe I just said that.....UHHHH???? The lady doesnt say anything, just smiles and says "whats your sons name so I can tell his teacher?" It took me a second to remember..."Uh...Gustavo!!" Holy shit, I just outed my family to the school. What will they think? At this point, I really dont care, but I think that this is the first step towards finally jumping out of this frying pan.

What a great day this is going to be. Blessed Be all.